Sup niggas, it’s the pharaoh coming back at you again. I know it’s been a minute, I’ve been putting this one off for quiet some time, but thanks to a certain female friend of mine constantly reminding me to post this and stop being lazy,( @stupefiant_)here today, I present, E.G.I.T.N. 3. If this is your first time reading one of my blogs, I suggest you read the two others first as they all build off of each other. For those of you that have been following me since the first blog, you already know it’s time for dat disclaimer den imma drop deez bombs over baghdad.
In no way, shape , or form am I claiming to be the best at cunninglus, however, with the techniques and knowledge I possess I’ve managed to give each and every woman who I’ve preformed the act on an exceptional experience. Now that that’s out the way let’s get to it.
Still the key to remember:
Alot of people get caught up in these “advanced” ways to eat pussy, but honestly it’s just complicating something so simple. Just use the following guidelines and you’ll be okay.
1. Always start off slow.
Every woman’s sensitivity level is different. Some will have multiple orgasms off simple brain dead no variation tongue techniques, some will require a little bit more to get them to there destination. If you start off showing her your best trick and she still needs more to cum, what do you have to fall back on? In her eyes you’ll be just another brotha who talks a good game that can’t deliver. As stated in previous blogs, it’s an art, a gradual buildup. Tease her, talk nasty to her, make her beg you for it. If you need further elaboration with that see the following blog : http://illustratedignorance.wordpress.com/2013/06/03/eating-good-in-the-neighborhood-volume-i/
2. Keep a steady rhythm
No matter how good the technique is, if you can’t keep it up it’s worthless. You ever been gettin some righteous head/box from a shorty and you’re about to bust and then she stops/ or moves and it throws everything off? That’s what’s going on here for the ladies when you start something great and then stop. Rather than starting, and stopping multiple times, fine a easy rhythm you can keep up and build up from that as needed.
3. Keep The Patience
Not ever girl you run into is gonna be a porn star that can cum at will every 30 seconds. You’ve got to be willing to be able to put that work in to make your girl happy. Have confidence in your abilities, keep a steady rhythm and mix it up every so often, she will cum. All she needs is for you to show that you’re in charge and that you can take her there.
4. Sync your moves with her breathing
When you’re really eating it right, most women aren’t able to speak properly, or at all. However, a single slip up or technique switchup can kill her entire vibe and you’ll lose ALL that progress you’ve made trying to get her to cum. Just follow the simple rule of thumb. When her breathing is steady, switch up the technique, when her breathing increases, know you’ve found the spot and keep that steady tempo that you’re at. Her breathing will tell you when/if you need to increase the tempo or deviate to something a little more advanced.
Temperature manipulation (Eating with Heat)
Haha.. Part II I brought you the ice variant of this temperature manipulation trick and I’m sure you niggas have been taking full advantage of it. To which I salute you all, but winter coming(who really wants to get ate with ice in the winter?), and your girl is probably getting used to it, so let’s switch it up shall we. I recommend saving this for a cold day, but feel free to use this at any point in time.
What you’ll need:
Something to cut a slit in the towels
Warm- Hot water
Okay, so this one isn’t as easy prep wise as the ice variant, but she’ll thank you for it. Take the towels and cut slits in the middle of both. Fill a decent sized bowl with hot water, and let both towels just soak for a couple minutes. Now your girl down on the bed whatever. Sit the bowl closeby and undress her(yeah you could let her undress herself, but… just do as I say. It’ll make her pussy wetter) Lay her back and grab one of the towels, ring it out all the excess water from the joint and put it on her pussy. By now the purpose of cutting in the middle of the towels should be clear, you’re gonna line up the slit with hers and taste her as the heat massages and relaxes her pussy. You really don’t even have to much since the heat is gonna do most of the work for you, but if you don’t want to just cake walk through it do the following. With both hands on the towel, make your tongue stiff and trace her slit up and down. Every detail, just trace that joint, centimeter for centimeter, work your way up from her slit to her clit planting kisses as you go. From her clit repeat the process and go downward dip your tongue in & tongue fuck her for a couple strokes after every complete cycle. From there you can literally just freestyle it and do whatever you want. You can LITERALLY do no wrong at that point(just don’t bite her too hard or use excess teeth). When the towel gets too cool, swap it out and continue the onslaught on her pussy until she cums. After she’s done shaking and all that, pat yourself on the back, drop em and kill it.
If you really want to take it there, you can use towels and add heat and when she least expects it, pull out a cup of ice and give her the best of both worlds. Suck her clit with the ice while the heat does it’s thing. Be prepared for alot of I love you’s and such.
The pungent tasting vagina work around:
Some of us aren’t fortunate enough to have the woman with the pussy that doesn’t have an taste/ mild taste. While it’s usually against my code to eat too pungent tasting vagina’s, some of you might actually be in love with a woman of such a quality so… here it goes.
The workaround actually kills two birds in 1 stone.
If you’re a fan of jollyranchers(hard candy version) just purchase a bag before you eat it. Slip one in your mouth and it nullifies all tastes of she. Now you can really put your whole effort into it. Since it’s a hard candy, you can use it like ice(in a way) and do all the same tricks with it. Credits to @thatniggavontae for this (now shut the fuck up faggot)
Same principle as above, cept we’re using mentos. The key difference here is, because it’s a mint it adds a tingling sensation to your mouth work(really great for stimulating her clit even more).
And that concludes the series folks. I realize I didn’t cover alot of shit like eating with honey/whipped cream, but that’s grandpa shit and it’s damn near a common practice now. Will there be another one? Well I can’t really say for now, I think I’ll just sit back and let y’all enjoy this one for a while, and when you least expect it…… Ha. Anyways, hopefully this was worth the wait, if not, so? Anyways, I’m out. Feel free to leave a comment or whatever.